Monday, May 19, 2014

A Man's Dog

Barry is a dog that loves love. He loves pets and scratches and pats and kisses. He is showered with these things daily. I prefer to just love on him and pet him and throw balls down our hallway for him to chase after. The only problem with that is that Barry enjoys playing hard and playing often. Husband is good for the playing stuff. Husband also gives lots of love to Barry. I see the bond they have with one another. Husband is a lot more fun to play with than I am. I don't question that Barry and I have a bond but it's different with Husband and Barry. It's more complete and silent. I'm quite nurturing and overbearing. Husband is fun-loving and strong. Barry needs all of it but he understands Husband more than he understands me. Plus they're both guys. I think Barry gets that too.

I recently found out that when Husband takes Barry on walks without me Barry is calm and walks perfectly with him. When I go with them on walks (which is most of the time) he is a lot more excited, pulls more often, and doesn't listen as well. To me, it's hard to believe that Barry would behave differently without me on a walk. But then again, why would Husband make it up? I have no choice but to believe that Barry is better behaved when I'm not around on walks.

The first time he told me about how great Barry walked when I wasn't with them I just decided it was a fluke. Then it happened again and again. I wondered what it could be that would make Barry behave differently. I started trying to keep cool and calm on walks as I followed Husband and Barry. I thought changing my mindset a bit would be helpful and Barry would calm down. It didn't seem to work. I didn't notice a change in his behavior on any of the walks I took with them.

So now it's become a regular occurrence that when I'm not present on the walks Barry is very well behaved. I asked Husband what his mindset is when he's walking Barry, what is he thinking, and how is he feeling (hoping maybe this would help me to match his mindset so we can all be cohesive). His answer: I just enjoy the walk with my dog. Me and my dog, the boys out together, bonding. That was it. I'm not sure I can get into that mindset, being that I'm a woman and all.

I guess I can live with the fact that Husband and Barry have a boy's bond. A man's bond. There is no denying that it's two guys that get each other just because they're male. Even though Barry is a dog and Husband is human, that male energy is definitely there. It's also not to say that Barry doesn't love to curl up with me often and typically lies closer to me at night when we're all sleeping. I love those parts the most anyway. The cuddling and the closeness.  I'm actually not jealous about their bond. I love that Husband and Barry have that. It makes me happy and I think it's really sweet. My boys hanging out and enjoying each other.

Barry laying his head in my lap.
There is no dissecting the reason that Barry would behave so much better on walks where I'm not present. It is what it is. They are two guys enjoying their walk. The boys out together, bonding.

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